There are four possibilities for 95% of long term marriages (5% are successful monogamist marriages and monogamist longterm relationships with a happy and fulfilling sexual life):
1. Cheat = mostly destroying and traumatizing your children and family.
2. Becoming a sexual brother and sister relationship = love deepens and erotic fades your children and family will be ok, but you will become a old person very quickly
3. Serial monogamist, every five to ten years a divorce with new sexual partner = mostly destroying and traumatizing your children and family.
4. Being honest with each other about the need of sexual, emotional variety, adventure, exploration and find a consensual respectful way (non-monogamy in all it 1001 ways, see chart… etc.) to not breach each others boundaries so both partners can enjoy, be inspired, feel free and be happy! Affairs, adventures with your partner, freedom, natural instincts, is about excitement, being alive, seduction, flirtation, love, affection, sexual bliss, lust, caution, eroticism, fantasy, danger, adventure, exploration and the determined refusal to grow old gracefully.
SHAME, GUILT, CONTROL AND FEAR is where traditional inspired monotheistic religious marriages are founded on! Adults, free, healthy and independent people have to free themselves from all this negative feelings and boundaries.